Values-based Boundary Setting, what does that even mean?

 




A saying I really enjoy is that you know you understand something well, when you can explain it to a six year old.  With that in mind, I came across this graphic today and wanted to share it here - Matti Piazzi is officially my hero! (image shared with his consent and credit to him)

It's hard to admit that sometimes WE are the "bad bosses" (disrespecting our own boundaries!). We let work bleed into dinner, or we skip that walk because "just one more email" feels more productive. But here’s the thing: Boundaries aren't walls to keep people out; they’re the internal agreements you make to keep yourself whole.

The principle is simple: every time you follow through on a boundary (like actually putting your phone away during a meal) you’re making a deposit into your proverbial Self-Trust Account. The "balance" in that specific account is where that deep, quiet confidence comes from that no client or project can give you. When we tell ourselves, "I value my personal time," but then we’re checking emails at 9 PM, we’re essentially bailing on ourselves and withdrawing from that account. Over time, a negative balance in that "account" makes us feel shaky and less confident in our own skin.




Our brains are essentially looking for consistency to feel secure. When your "Value" and your "Action" actually match up, you aren’t just setting a (breakable) rule; you’re giving your brain a predictable, safe place to land. You're telling your system, "I said I'd do this, and I did. I'm safe, I've got this."  That kind of integrity changes how you show up in meetings, how you price your work, and how you breathe when the laptop is closed... It’s the quiet, steady work of becoming a boss you actually enjoy working for.

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