The ABC's didn't stop when you left school!

As humans, it could be said that we don't experience the world as it is; we experience the world as we perceive it... and our nervous system reacts to that perception as if it were an absolute fact. It's not always logical either; one minute you’re fine, and the next, a single text message, an email, or a look from a stranger has ruined your entire afternoon. But what if we could pull back the curtain on our reactions and see that we have more control over the situation than we think?




Enter the ABC Model.  The ABC model breaks our experiences into three pieces:
  • A – Activating Event: The "trigger." This is the objective fact of what happened (e.g., a client didn't reply to your email).
  • B – Beliefs: Your interpretation. This is the story you tell yourself about the event (e.g., "They must be upset with me").
  • C – Consequences/outcome: This includes how you feel emotionally (anxiety) and what you do physically (checking your phone every 5 minutes).


Your brain is essentially a prediction machine. Your perceptions are built on past experiences. If you perceive a client’s short email as "they’re angry at me," your brain doesn't wait for evidence; it immediately signals the body to prepare for a threat.  Without actually looking at the pattern, most of us will believe that A causes C. We think the unanswered email made us anxious. But the secret sauce here is that B (our belief) is the real driver;  If you believed your client was just busy, your consequence would be different, calmer...  but B is quick, and it is QUIET.

This is where I start advocating for Biometric Awareness to break the chain. Since you can't always control your initial perception, you have to work on your response to the feelings:

• Find the Physical: When you feel an irritable mood or bout of anxiety coming on, stop looking at the activating event, and focus on your body (the feeling - anxiety, stress, irritability).• Flip the Switch: The Physiological Sigh is essentially the "manual override" button for your nervous system; use it to manually flip the switch from the Sympathetic (fight/flight) to the Parasympathetic (rest/digest) nervous system.• Now challenge the Perception: Once your body is calm and you can actually hear yourself think, ask: "Is my perception of this situation true right now, or is it a 'prediction' based on an old stress/event?"• Objective Data: This is why I love tools like my Garmin watch. I'm not even a runner, but I wear it and keep an eye on my "vitals". Sometimes, seeing that my heart rate is high can help me realize, "Oh, I'm not actually an anxious mess right now; my body is just reacting to caffeine and a lack of sleep. I should probably go have some water"

The big takeaway here is that your perceptions shape your mood, but your mood isn't something that happens to you. It's the result of how your brain interprets your perceptions and resulting stress signals. The next time you feel a sudden surge of stress or irritability, stop and ask:

  1. What is the Activating Event?
  2. What is the Belief or "story" I’m telling myself?
  3. Are there other, more factual ways to see this?


By mastering your "B," you can take back control of your "C" (and your day). Are you willing to try? (it's simple, but it's not always easy - it takes practice)

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